The Black Death Opens Kindergarten
Dall'insostituibile The Onion:
Besides being able to take part in games and educational activities, the kindergarten children already have the Death Star's Sunshine ; could witness the destruction of several planets from the large window where asylum has.
Last Friday, during a period of free design, the planet Alderaan was destroyed, delighting 23 of the 24 young guests who were able to witness the destructive power of battle station. The only exception was constituted by small Libby Phelps, 3 years, whose family was vacationing on Alderaan when it was destroyed. The little girl was frightened by the loud explosion and started to cry when she realized that her mother, father and sister were now dead. The squadron of elite guards dell'Imperaotre had to go into action, removing the child from the common room and giving her an ice cream cone to calm her down.
But while many parents are excited about the opening of the new asylum, a few extremists have expressed their concerns about the proximity of the classrooms on the Death Star's reactor core.
"There is an opening that overlooks the main pipe of the reactor core," said Annette Voss, a parent and one of the few dissenting voices. "If a small rebel ship somehow able to penetrate the deflector shield and enter the canyon, you will be able to hit the reactor with a single photon torpedo very precise and destroy the entire station."
Experts believe, however unfounded the theory of Voss, dismissing the chance to deal a blow such as "one in a million."
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